I've been trying really hard to be a teacher lately, but what I really want right now is to be a student. Let me elaborate…
For those of you who teach, you may understand this—As teachers we are always looking for ways to learn something, digest it and find a way to articulate it to our students. This could be via social media, in our weekly yoga class or just trying to break down a big concept for our friends and family. Truthfully, I am never not trying to teach. Recently, at a wedding, close friends of mine were laughing at me because even on the afterparty dance floor, your girl was still trying to teach. If you know me, I am sure you can envision me yelling over music to deliver some source of inspiration to someone I just met. It is in my blood to teach.
There is no doubt that I was put on this earth to distill big concepts and share them widely. I know this deep in my heart, however, lately I am finding myself trying to do this at rapid speed. I learn something new from my teacher and immediately I’m like, “can I make this into a tiktok?” I think for so many of us who are passionate about teaching can feel the pressure ( especially with social media and content creation) to have to share new learnings rapidly. But the reality is we usually need to process what we have learned and then to embody that learning.
You can think of the teaching as a piece of fruit. The teaching is given to you as plum in the palm of your hand. If you are anything like me, I want to show the world, LOOK AT THIS PLUM! I know what it looks like and I know what it feels like so I can share that. I am eager to share that! But when I bite into it, the plum changes. I now know the plum has a tart and tight outer layer and juicy, sweeter middle. There is a pit inside, it is hard and inedible. I previously could not have predicted how delicious this experience could be before I bit into it. I take time chewing it. Listening to the crisp crunch of its skin breaking. I delight in the vibrant inner flesh of the plum. I am different now. There was me before I knew what the plum tasted like and me after. I digest the plum. I have way more to say about the plum than I did before I ate it.
You with me? As teachers we need to watch when we are talking about the plum before tasting it. For me it can feel like this huge pressure to grab, eat, digest as quickly as I can in order to share with others. When I look closer at the desire to share so quickly, it reveals to me where I still feel unworthy. If I am not constantly dropping knowledge or sharing wisdom, am I a good enough teacher? But now I see it is the wrong question. Right now, for me, what matters most is Am I a good student?
In the past year I have devoted myself deeper into studentship in a way I haven’t in years. It has been so deeply rewarding and humbling to be tasting more fruit so to speak without having taught most of it yet. For now morning practices are a non negotiable, my work with my teachers is everything and my journals are brimming with learnings. I am knee deep in many processes right now. I assure you that none of this has been rolled into a digestible piece of 60 second content. In fact a lot of these learnings will never appear on social media…
What is ready to move out of me will likely only be for deep and sacred spaces like retreats and workshops. Many of which are coming up soon! As students and teachers we mustn’t forget that we need large containers that allow for depth, nuance, safety and tiiimmeeee. As I write this I can feel myself graduating from the world of bite sized content into large form transformational experiences again (like the good ol days!) I know many teachers out there that have had to bend to create things faster and shorter to what feels like dilution of our message and ultimately for me, dilution of our souls.
Phew! All this to say two things:
This is a gentle reminder today to be a student. To observe, feel, and taste life. To be witness, to let in, to be with life before needing to spew it back to everyone. To be a student is to be one with life. As teachers we must never lose that. You don’t owe anyone your learnings. Teach when you are ready to teach. Until then, your only job is student of life.
I am so excited to share that this year work-wise is all about offering deep containers of exploration :) A lot of you know me from short form, often scripted and through-the-lens of other brands, that was still me but when I tell you I have SO much more in me!!! A lot of you know me (pre-pandemic me) from my decade-plus body of work in these containers and let me tell you the work is getting more potent by the day. Cant’t wait to be in those spaces with you again.
Stay tuned for more opportunities to connect in this way. My Mexico retreat is sold out but mark your calendars for Italy in June and Panama in November if you are feeling a retreat this year. Lots of workshops and trainings in the pipeline as well. Get ready to go deep!
More to come on those…until then, go taste the fruit,
Ally