I’m on a ferry boat on the way to a tiny island off the coast of British Columbia, Canada. I am here to sit in silence for the week. I am under the direct guidance of my spiritual teacher Aimee who told me, “don’t get cute and try to do a bunch of yoga, hiking or cooking while you are there. Don’t even read a book…just SIT.”
I have rented a tiny, rustic cabin tucked into the woods. I have a small backpack with just the essentials and a grocery bag full of easy to prepare food for the week. To me, this isn’t a delightful little R&R getaway but more of a stripped down to the bones, face yourself head on, let yourself be cracked open by the stillness kind of week. The kind of week that is essential for the creative heart, the weary traveler, the spiritual seeker, the exhausted entrepreneur.
No distractions—no people, no work, no phone, not even a car. I walked on the ferry with my belongings this afternoon. My airbnb host is picking me up at 5:55pm on the other side. Till then I float across the Pacific Ocean in this big boat on a rare sunny Vancouver Monday.
My fear began to surface two days ago. Old patterns wrapping their tentacles around my throat. An ancient and familiar weight takes it’s seat upon my chest. I am spun into all the familiar places of scarcity and lack. I take the bait. I spiral for days. The one persistent thought…"what the fuck am I doing?” I woke up this morning feeling afraid. How can I be alone for a whole week with no distractions when my fear and anxiety are already this loud?
I am reminded that the only way out is through. This is exactly how to move past fear. You face it head on. You let it get loud. You look it dead in the eye. It requires maturity and discipline. Sure, staying at my parent’s house another week and binge watching Apple TV series and drinking wine sounds way more comfortable but I know that the next part of my evolution requires me to meet my discomfort. It requires me to get quieter and listen deeper. This is why I came to ‘earth school,’ to evolve, to burn through fear and to show others how to do the same.
So alas, away I go. Off to meet my demons.
LOVE YOU, see you on the other side.
Ally
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Good luck Ally! Every sentence resonated so hard with my journey, sounds like its going to be a rewarding week. Looking forward to if u share your insights about this experience, personally sounds like something i could really do.