When I was in my early twenties I lost my period completely for one year. I had gone off of birth control and I was struggling with an eating disorder. Month after month, no period. When I began to seek support, I spoke to a Western doctor, an Ayurvedic therapist, and Chinese Medicine doctor. The Western doctor wanted to put me back on the pill, that was the quickest fix and sadly the only fix in the eyes of most doctors. The Ayurvedic doctor wanted me to keep my feet warm and stop eating raw vegan foods. The Chinese Medicine doctor gave me acupuncture and encouraged me to starting eating a little meat. I felt lost and sad that thing that used to be such an annoyance was gone. Would it come? Would I be able to have children? Did I actually yearn for the thing I have been taught to hate?
I stuck with the advice of the Ayurveda and Chinese Medicine. Birth Control was making me feel insane and I had already been on it for almost ten years by then. I began to do more research on the pill and decided that I wanted to see what my own body could do without the help of synthetic hormones. I wanted to get back to my own natural rhythm but I had no idea it was going to take as long as it did.
I began to deep dive into holistic ways to support my body. I knew I needed to stop hiding my eating disorder under the guise of “a raw vegan” and address the real issue at hand. I was terrified of feeling out of control in my life, so controlling what I was eating was a way to feel safe. Understanding this was the major turning point in my healing.
Birth control played a role in that too. If I could control when I got my period, what I ate for lunch etc…then maybe I could feel like I was succeeding. Ah, yes. This is the human condition, trying to grasp at the illusion of control. Life is big and bold and unpredictable and instead of showing up for the ride, we do our best to combat life with tiny ways of seeming like we are the ones in charge.
The journey into getting my period back was a lesson in trusting life. Which as you can guess, I was previously unable to. I knew that if I started listening to my body that it would slowly start to realign. I knew that if I started treating myself with care instead of venom, things would start to shift. It was a knowing. This was the first real hit of intuition I can remember in my early twenties or at least the hit I was willing to listen to.
My period came back at age 23 the morning of New Years Day. It felt like a miracle. I vowed in that moment to cherish and honour it like never before. Gone were the days of wishing it away and pushing my body to extremes, I was ready to support my cycle in a new way. I became obsessed with understanding my body and it was what kept me clean from binging purging and starving myself. I was ready to eat, rest and listen in a whole new way. Here I am 14 years later and I am the healthiest and most intuitive I have ever been. I trust my body, I trust myself andI trust life.
I bow to the many teachers, healers and wise women who have guided me along the way. Learning the sacred wisdom of our periods is essential to our health, our relationships and overall happiness. I am so excited to offer this wisdom for the first time online in a workshop setting. Join me Wednesday, Oct 11th at 6pm PST or catch the recording for The Seasons of Our Cycles.
Together we will explore Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall of our cycles and how to best utilize our energy throughout the month, as well as look at what moon we bleed under and how it correlates with your current life’s purpose. This wisdom in ancient and is useful for anyone who has a menstrual cycle or has lost theirs and wants to come back into alignment.
This wisdom feels radical under the capitalistic, patriarchal society we live in and I truly believe that when we remember this wisdom, we can change the world. If you are a teen reading this, you can attend for free, just reply to this email and let me know :)
If you are still grappling with controlling your food, exercise, body in a way that feels punishing, I highly recommend this work. Going against our nature does not get us anywhere in the long run. Listening, understanding and trusting ourselves is the way. Hope to see you there,
sign up here
Ally xo