If you are new here, I often share tidbits of conversations with my teacher. They often go like this:
Me: “ I am just really struggling to feel good, to connect, to find ground.”
My Teacher: “Thinking = suffering. Write that down.”
Me: “Umm, okay. But I am struggling. I am confused on my next steps.”
My Teacher: “A woman’s favourite question is ‘What’s Wrong?’ "
Me: “I just…”
My Teacher: “How do you actually want to feel?”
Me: “Well, joyful, peaceful…”
My Teacher: “Choose thoughts that get you there.”
We talk for another 55 minutes. She finally gets me to a place where I can see how I have been unconsciously giving into my worry, fear and negativity. She also reminds me that it is always darkest before the dawn. That these patterns always come back stronger before they die. It gives me some relief. I have been working on this shit for what feels like forever, but I do admit I have slipped. Something about that ooey gooey feeling of giving into complaining, doubt and confusion. It’s a tad bit comforting, isn’t it? I go through these moments, days where I am like, ‘welp, enough of this consciousness stuff, I want wine and a good old fashioned, hours long doom scroll.’
I convince myself that I have been so ‘good’ lately, I should just dabble in a little unconsciousness. I go back to sleep. Then days or weeks go by and I call my teacher and I’m all, I’M SAD. She’s like, ya bitch…you went back to sleep.
She tells me to begin again, observing the quality of thoughts. She tells me it’s monk time. As in, get quiet, get disciplined. She reminds me that consciousness is a full time job. She tells me to sit in the gut, silence the mind. It is time to reboot this computer.
So I have stopped giving into the “what’s wrong?” with me the world, others. Right now the only questions is how do I want to feel and what thoughts are going to get me there. I have recommitted to no phone in the morning, back to my morning meditation and morning pages. I feel better. I really do.
As I prepare for tonight’s New Moon Ceremony, all of this information is incredibly aligned with the Virgo new moon energy. It is about getting our shit together. It is about inquiring about where we are and are not being efficient. It’s giving back to school energy, but your mind is the classroom and you get to decide what you want to learn and how you wish to grow.
If you want to join tonight and receive more of this insight and get clear on this new cycle for yourself, join me! They are super chill, and really potent. They happen over zoom or you can practice with the recording. We meditate, do some relaxing breathwork and then journal our little hearts out.
Either way, I hope you can continue to wake up to what is serving you and what is not. When we know, we can think new thoughts, feel new things and create new life. New moon = new start.
Ally xo
But your mind is the classroom 🤌🏼✨🫶🏼👌🏼